Can an unmarried parent force the other parent to go to a mediator in California?

I am the unmarried mother of a 5 year old girl. I have tried to work things out with her dad i even let him move back in with us but it is not working. He speaks very negatively to me in front of her and is not nice to me which causes arguments, resentment etc. He's kind of a bum - smoke a lot of pot,he's financially irresponsible-can't pay his share of the rent much of the time and doesnt give me enough to pay other bills, has no savings no life insurance,his teeth are falling out and he is always want to take or daughter away to stay overnight at some place i am not invited to come and he gets in bed with her in the morning to tickle her which drives me crazy! In the past he has threatened me with lawyers and now he wants a mediator. We tried therapy before and he would not listen or do what was recommended. I don't want to go to a mediator i just want him to treat me respectfully in front of the child. I want to stay together because i don't want her being shuttled back and forth to god knows where with a dope smoking loser like him nor do i want joint custody. I also don't want the law in our business. Can he force me to go? What are the right of a single mother In Cali_ in Ohio where my child was born a single mother has automatic full custody unless someone takes her to court. Is it the same in Cali?